50+ Funny Quotes About Eyes!

Eyes are often called the windows to the soul, but they can also be the source of some funny observations!

Here are over 50 hilarious quotes about eyes, vision, and everything in between to bring a little humor into how we see the world.

50+ Funny Quotes About Eyes!

1. “My eyes are like a camera… if it’s out of focus, I have no idea what’s going on.”
2. “I rolled my eyes so hard, I think I saw my brain.”
3. “I didn’t choose the lazy eye life; the lazy eye life chose me.”
4. “My eyes sparkle… especially when I’m about to roll them.”
5. “If looks could kill, I’d be in a lot more trouble.”
6. “Eye contact: that awkward thing that’s always five seconds too long.”
7. “If you want to test your eyesight, try finding your phone without your glasses.”
8. “I don’t believe in love at first sight… my eyesight is terrible.”
9. “They say the eyes are the windows to the soul… mine probably need new blinds.”
10. “I wear sunglasses so I can take a nap without anyone knowing.”
11. “My eye doctor said I need glasses. I told him I just needed a new phone with a bigger screen.”
12. “My eyes were bigger than my stomach… and yet, I still finished all the fries.”
13. “Ever closed your eyes during a movie and missed half the plot? No? Just me?”
14. “The look on my face is 30% what I’m thinking, 70% what my eyes are doing.”
15. “I like to keep eye contact… until I realize I forgot what I was saying.”
16. “If you stare into my eyes, you’ll see my soul… scrolling through a to-do list.”
17. “If you can read my mind through my eyes, it probably says ‘I’m so tired.’”
18. “If I look tired, it’s because my eyeballs are doing overtime on this screen.”
19. “My eyes are trained to spot coffee from a mile away.”
20. “I’ve got 20/20 vision… for spotting a pizza from across the room.”
21. “Eye contact: 10% human connection, 90% ‘What is that person thinking?’”
22. “My eyes do this weird thing called ‘sleeping in public’… especially during meetings.”
23. “There’s something about direct eye contact that makes me want to look anywhere else.”
24. “I’m so bad at making eye contact, I’ll look at anything else in the room first.”
25. “Eye rolls: because words can’t fully express my level of disbelief.”
26. “The best way to win a staring contest? Wear sunglasses.”
27. “They say don’t judge a book by its cover… my eyes respectfully disagree.”
28. “I’m great at keeping eye contact… especially if I’m daydreaming.”
29. “If you look into my eyes, you’ll see… pure confusion.”
30. “My eyes have been on a ‘resting’ phase since I got my first pair of glasses.”
31. “I like eye contact, but only if I can avoid it.”
32. “If my eyes are the windows to my soul, someone’s definitely left them smudged.”
33. “When I’m bored, my eyes give me away faster than any words could.”
34. “I can keep a straight face, but my eyes? They give me away every time.”
35. “My eyes love to travel… especially to the exit in any crowded place.”
36. “I speak fluent ‘eye roll’ when no words will do.”
37. “They say don’t blink during a scary movie. I say don’t look at all!”
38. “My eyes have two modes: wide awake and sleep-deprived.”
39. “I wear glasses because my eyes can’t keep up with my curiosity.”
40. “If my eyes tell you one thing and my mouth says another, go with the eyes.”
41. “I have that special skill of looking attentive while actually daydreaming.”
42. “Looking into my eyes is like looking into a mirror of eternal coffee dependency.”
43. “If the eyes are the windows to the soul, mine have blackout curtains.”
44. “Ever stared at something so long, you realize you zoned out for 20 minutes? Yeah, me too.”
45. “Sometimes my eyes are awake, but my mind is still napping.”
46. “The closer I look, the less I understand what I’m looking at.”
47. “The best way to keep a secret? Wear sunglasses and avoid eye contact.”
48. “When life gives you lemons, squint to see if they’re really lemons.”
49. “If my eyes could talk, they’d tell you to stop waking up so early.”
50. “My superpower? Spotting irony with just a squint.”
51. “My eyes do the talking. Unfortunately, they mostly say, ‘I’m over it.’”
52. “Can’t find my motivation? Maybe I left it where I keep my contacts.”
53. “If you looked through my eyes, you’d probably see a big ‘loading’ sign.”
54. “I may be quiet, but my eyes are a constant commentary.”
55. “Seeing is believing… except when I’m looking in the fridge for the fifth time.”
56. “My eyes are great at finding lost things… unless they’re mine.”
57. “Looking in someone’s eyes is like having a silent conversation. Mostly about ‘How long do I hold this?’”

Related content:
Promise Letter to My Future Wife (2 Examples + Tips)
Letter to My Best Friend That I Miss

These funny quotes celebrate all the quirks and surprises that come with having (or needing) sharp vision and quick reflexes. Whether you’re making eye contact or just making a point, humor is definitely in sight!